From the known to the unknown -1 : The mysteries of my people

Sitting in my small new office, sipping over a cup of coffee and attempting to focus on the new project I was working on, something happened. I sensed a drop of sweat on my hand in that AC room. My head was paining. I did not know what it was all about! May be about the charm of what it used to be, or may be about the excitement of the journey I have set myself on or may be about the mystery of how it will unfold. And there I was, exasperated at the instant, right before the feeling of strange belief and thrill hit me. I wasn’t sure what was happening. I wanted to cry. I was smiling instead. It was the 3rd day since I shifted to my small town.

Strange things were happening around. I came back to my home, just like I have thousands of times before. But this time it was different. I think everyone wanted some answers from me. There were awkward stares and smiles; may be because I had left my job and came back home to start my own company.  I woke up the next day right at the time I was getting up for the past 1 year; for my job. Getting back to senses on finding parents around instead of friends, I slept again. Was I trying to avoid something? I got up late and went to meet the people I was going to work with. And unexpectedly, we started working the same day. I was amazed at their orientation towards taking actions ‘now’ than ‘soon’. There was a pinch of inspiration at that moment. I went back home late that night. We were working.  At home, I could again sense those awkward smiles waiting for me to answer something. I think they were not prepared for me to get back home that late.  Leaving office by 6pm and reaching home by 8pm was what they remembered from the big city, I should have been home by 6:05pm in my small town by that reference. It took them almost a month to understand I wasn’t in a job now, I was creating my own company and it took me even more to understand that this was not easy for them. Nobody was leaving their jobs, some were shifting; nobody was shifting to lesser financial earnings, mostly were going up in that context; nobody was going to a smaller town, all were craving for the bigger ones. It really took us time before things got settled, but I am happy they did.  🙂

Advertisements

Thank you, 2012

2012

Thank you, Year 2012, that you came in my life at the right time. You were a year which really showed me that efforts are worth everything and even when everything looks hazy, things that are meant to be shall find a way.

Final year of college and the year unfolded for me the college days I have dreamed about. Had late night studies just before the exam day, left the syllabus incomplete and still stayed cool (and still managed to score good enough!), hanged around the campus with friends almost every day, watched movies before the exams, paid the fines,  the night walks and the discussions, long hour concalls, car drives, nightouts, late night parties, the first love. The holi celebration in the campus and the department trip to Shivpuri were some of the best days of the year. 2013, please be ‘awesome-er’!

Putting myself to learn new things made me happier. I learnt to drive a car, cooked more often, love for painting came back to my life, read more books (even tried a new genre of them and loved it), sang more often, started blogging, enjoyed photography,  travelled more than ever and worked on my CV. After many years of efforts, I even joined yoga classes and for change, liked exercising.

2012 excited me with the pleasure of independence. Worked with various organizations, learnt to create a team, realized the fun in working for what I really like doing, earned the first salary, created the alumni of my own school and realized the fun in creating something that I always wanted, the hardships of a start-up, but trust me, the efforts were worth it! Prepared for interviews, gave interviews, group discussions, looked for job, identified the weak areas, started working on them already. And after all that, even if nothing looks clear and strong, what I am sure about is, everything will be clear soon. For dots can never be connected looking in future, we can always connect the dots looking at what we have grown from and I’ll have a bigger picture, soon! Fun is always in the unexpected.

I didn’t come to Hansraj College, I came to Delhi. The city had a lot to give. Although I still have a lot to take from it, 2012 was a year of exploring Delhi. Organizations like Landmark Education, Toastmasters club gave me people I like to be around. I explored new places, loved hauz khas village, appreciated the rich Indian culture in Delhi like never before, tasted the authentic Delhi food and met varied people.

2012 was a year of strengthened relationships, crazy-random college life, new interests, independence, exploration, learning to let go, trust in self, and love for life. 2012 also gave me a parting thought, which says ‘Sometimes, it’s good to let go things so that better things can come to life and what is meant to be shall find a way.’  I am excited to create 2013.

Thank You 2012 on Vimeo - Google Chrome

The Beauty of it…

After spending an year in Delhi, I thought to reflect on how big my life is turning out to be, and so it was…

The Journey is indeed beautiful.  It’s not about years that have gone. It’s not even about years to come. Yes, it’s about the people who have made a difference in my life, it’s about the smiles that have made my days, it’s about the mountains that asks me to stand for what is right, it’s about the birds that asks me fly, it’s about the sky that tells me to paint whatever I want on the canvas of my life, it’s about the rainbows that inspires me to fill my life with all the possible colors. Yeah, it’s about those small- little and yet so powerful tools I would say that make my life ‘Big’.

I wouldn’t say that I have learned to overcome failures, but yes, I have surely learned to fight them back. I wouldn’t say that I love everybody around, but yes, but I have learned to give love, without letting that ‘I don’t like’ thing come in between. I wouldn’t say I no longer fall and fail, but yes, I know how to stand and give it a try again. I wouldn’t even say that whatever I get in my life empowers me, but yes, I have learned what to choose and let go the other things, without affecting the beauty of it.

At the point of time, I may not seem to have achieved whatever I wanted, but I know it will be mine, sooner or later. I may not be the one I wanted to be, but I am sure, the new me I invent and reinvent everyday will make sure I become the one. I don’t say that life has given me everything, nor do I say that it hasn’t given me anything, but yes, whatever and whoever it has given me is so perfect that the canvas of my life would remain incomplete even if one were to be taken away.

Cheers to the world of possibilities that is created. Cheers to whoever and whatever has contributed in making my life the way it is. Cheers. 🙂

Image

There is just too much that time can not erase…

With entire life in front of me, scary for how quick it has changed, satisfying for whom I have grown up into, here I am, sitting in an empty room surrounded by all sorts of ‘reminders’. The photo albums, the pictures/videos in the laptop, the greeting cards, the letters. Some saved messages too.

When I say reminders, some reminding me of all the people I have grown up with, some I wanted to grow up with, some people that time has left behind, while others who I did. Reminders of the moments of joy that made me realize how beautiful the life was, while others of the not-so-easy times.

The old ones. Some family pictures, some portfolios too (:D). Some assuring me that I have grown up in the finest of hands while others reminding me how big a cry baby I was (No I’m not!), some with the sketch pen drawings trying to hide something (:P), while others with strange looking kid in sari and skirt(Yeah embarrassing enough, it was I :D). And there I was, holding my stomach, literally ROFL(ing), with teary eyes and  a happy heart holding all the memories, strong enough not letting even a single one of them slip.

And then that strange picture, strange not because it had some new faces but because I saw it for the first time(I have no idea how!) and then all I remember was a question-are round, some weird questions followed by an old man quoting my parents “You have a really naughty son!”.  There I was, grown enough to enter a school. And the only few pictures I have from the school chapter are of two young smart (:P) kids in school uniform, bag on shoulder and water bottle in hand, a few of the dressed up children on stage(oh God! They really make you dress up in weird costumes and make-up on face :D). No-no don’t get me wrong, I never really had an issue with that because what mattered to me was being on stage (:D), a few of the class picnics and some with the trophies won. Some old greeting cards and some friendship bands too. But the most treasured one is that of the investiture ceremony. It wasn’t just a badge on shoulder and a flag in hand. It wasn’t even about being the school leader. For me it was an opportunity to add dimensions to myself, an opportunity to create something that I didn’t know about myself and I am glad I never missed even a single one of them. (Yeah I don’t have to get that emotional at all. :D).

And then there was this huge stack of photographs, 20GB of pics in the laptop, about 12 videos, a few greeting cards, a letter, a scrapbook(the most beautiful one) and many saved messages, enough to assure me of the big life I have.  It is like hidden cameras everywhere (So I always carried my ‘ting’ vala smile to look good :D). Call me self-obsessed for I don’t care. I am treasuring memories of ‘the 3 most beautiful years of my life. The weirdest of poses that I can pose, running after the camera vala friend to get a ‘DP’, getting clicked with almost ‘everybody’, crying(not literally) for the bad pictures and boosting the good ones as if nobody can look better( :D), experimenting with the looks(for this is the only time) and what not!

There’s just too much that time can’t erase…

And now having lived all that, I realize I am all that I once wanted to be.
Clearly, to all those who have known me since school, I am not who I was(to an extent that a few of my classmates refuse to know me :D) but clearly, to me, I am all that I wanted to be. I have stronger relationships, much better communication skills, independence,  confidence, maturity and most important to me, patience to keep giving love even without getting at times. And having all this, I am sure I’ll be all that I now want to be. 🙂Image