With entire life in front of me, scary for how quick it has changed, satisfying for whom I have grown up into, here I am, sitting in an empty room surrounded by all sorts of ‘reminders’. The photo albums, the pictures/videos in the laptop, the greeting cards, the letters. Some saved messages too.
When I say reminders, some reminding me of all the people I have grown up with, some I wanted to grow up with, some people that time has left behind, while others who I did. Reminders of the moments of joy that made me realize how beautiful the life was, while others of the not-so-easy times.
The old ones. Some family pictures, some portfolios too (:D). Some assuring me that I have grown up in the finest of hands while others reminding me how big a cry baby I was (No I’m not!), some with the sketch pen drawings trying to hide something (:P), while others with strange looking kid in sari and skirt(Yeah embarrassing enough, it was I :D). And there I was, holding my stomach, literally ROFL(ing), with teary eyes and a happy heart holding all the memories, strong enough not letting even a single one of them slip.
And then that strange picture, strange not because it had some new faces but because I saw it for the first time(I have no idea how!) and then all I remember was a question-are round, some weird questions followed by an old man quoting my parents “You have a really naughty son!”. There I was, grown enough to enter a school. And the only few pictures I have from the school chapter are of two young smart (:P) kids in school uniform, bag on shoulder and water bottle in hand, a few of the dressed up children on stage(oh God! They really make you dress up in weird costumes and make-up on face :D). No-no don’t get me wrong, I never really had an issue with that because what mattered to me was being on stage (:D), a few of the class picnics and some with the trophies won. Some old greeting cards and some friendship bands too. But the most treasured one is that of the investiture ceremony. It wasn’t just a badge on shoulder and a flag in hand. It wasn’t even about being the school leader. For me it was an opportunity to add dimensions to myself, an opportunity to create something that I didn’t know about myself and I am glad I never missed even a single one of them. (Yeah I don’t have to get that emotional at all. :D).
And then there was this huge stack of photographs, 20GB of pics in the laptop, about 12 videos, a few greeting cards, a letter, a scrapbook(the most beautiful one) and many saved messages, enough to assure me of the big life I have. It is like hidden cameras everywhere (So I always carried my ‘ting’ vala smile to look good :D). Call me self-obsessed for I don’t care. I am treasuring memories of ‘the 3 most beautiful years of my life. The weirdest of poses that I can pose, running after the camera vala friend to get a ‘DP’, getting clicked with almost ‘everybody’, crying(not literally) for the bad pictures and boosting the good ones as if nobody can look better( :D), experimenting with the looks(for this is the only time) and what not!
There’s just too much that time can’t erase…
And now having lived all that, I realize I am all that I once wanted to be.
Clearly, to all those who have known me since school, I am not who I was(to an extent that a few of my classmates refuse to know me :D) but clearly, to me, I am all that I wanted to be. I have stronger relationships, much better communication skills, independence, confidence, maturity and most important to me, patience to keep giving love even without getting at times. And having all this, I am sure I’ll be all that I now want to be. 🙂